Protocols for Calamity

*BIG DUH* … There's a lesson embedded in the ongoing Anthony story for everyday folks who find themselves in media spotlights after some untoward event happens in their personal lives = Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

That's exactly what George Anthony - father of Casey Anthony, husband of Cindy, grandfather of missing Caylee - screamed at reporters on the 13th of August.

Less than a week earlier, on the 8th, he'd launched a similar salvo in his driveway:
... "Just leave me alone!" … "You people have no idea what we’re going through!
You don’t care about me! You don’t care about her (indicating his wife)! You don’t care about my granddaughter! You don’t care about any of this stuff!" … "Shut up!" … "I’m trying to find my granddaughter! You guys don’t care about that!" … "All you care about is sensationalism!"

George's tirades were followed by Cindy wielding her invisible whisk broom, gesturing, explaining and generally tidying up in the wake of her husband's behaviour.

I get it the situation is serious … the implications are horrible. I get it the family is under pressure. I get it George buckled. I get it Cindy is apologetic and demonstrative when it comes to reconciliation. I get denial - to a point.

Among the things I don't get someone who's been in law enforcement leaping to argument. Again, I get anguish ... but standing on reporter mentality was lame. Anyone who's watched television in the past 5-10-15-20+ years knows 95% of reporters don't give a honking hoot about the sensitivities of the characters in the stories they're charged to cover.

On his 'sensationalism' point, George was right: … media shows up when there's drama to be had. Unfortunately, furiously stating the obvious hinted of diversion, of finger pointing to redirect attention.

What would you do if a worst case scenario jumped up and bit you? Are you ready? Like the Weather Channel reminds us - it could happen tomorrow. It's always good to be prepared ... so here's a handy checklist of things to avoid.


Self-Presentation Protocols for Calamity Management
... a guide to publicity risks - how to avoid appearing (1) denser than a doornail or (2) being an in-cahoots co-conspirator when the unthinkable strikes

• "Shut up!" If you choose to chatter and rail, you issue a carte blanche invitation to any reporter inclined to track you down. The loud-o-meter rule of thumb: … hollering and snorting summons and delights paparazzi.

• Drop your ego. If you can't drop it, at least put it on hold while you're the center of attention. Vanity and sincerity are hard partners … vanity will trump sincerity in a heartbeat if there is even the slightest indication you're astride a self-promoting agenda.

... to appear to have more emotional depth than a thimble, look a little messy. Dishevel yourself for genuineness … run you fingers through your perfect hairdo, wear something rumpled, untuck your shirt, break a nail, forget makeup, don't shave. A perfect appearance doesn't jive with agony.

• Perceptions of authenticity are fickle. Get a grip on yourself and
... don't use interviews to think out loud about your circumstances. Stream of consciouosness - like talking to yourself when you're alone - is accompanied by unconscious movement. Inappropriate body language will undermine you. Keep your hands down. Don't flash your trademark smile.

... be aware your eye movement patterns can betray you. If you're going to be less than above board - or if you are even slightly tempted to be evasive - wear sunglasses. If that's not an option, fix your gaze and don't pause to talk ... move through the throng of reporters and get out of Dodge.

... avoid lies, half truths, evasive responses to questions, changes in your timeline and/or account of what happened. These will snag you big time the moment they're perceived. With live mics and cameras rolling, that moment comes in real time. You say it = it becomes a sound bite ... and sound bites, like statistics, can be edited to your disadvantage. Zip your lips.

... don't overact. Fake tears, insincere hugs, fists clenched without full body tension, shoulder rolling sighs, staged expressions - these are dishonesty tells. Although Nancy Grace fans may fall for the ploy, it provokes 'heaven help us' responses in the thinking public.

... for pete's sake, don't go on the offensive. Aggressive gestures, forward movments and lashing pronouncements are subjective. Even if you're filled with rightious indignation, remember that what says anger to one person is a red flag of deception and manipulation to another.

... while it's possible to recover from a single genuine emotional display, multiple outbursts can put you on shaky ground. They create suspicion you're overly enjoying the attention you're getting. This is especially true when the limelight situation is rife with unanswered questions.

• If you think the usual suspect - "every person responds to grief differently" - will save the day after you do something inappropriate, you're sadly mistaken. Write this down & make it your mantra: … don’t go out in public and have yourself a good ol' time. This rule holds equally for dinner at a restaurant and pole dancing at a club. Not only is public enjoyment in the shadow of misery really, really bad from, it will come back to haunt you.

• Don't fool yourself into believing you can bias portrayal of yourself or your family in your own favor. Chicago's Billy Flynn was a terrific spin doctor who (1) he knew the ropes, (2) had lots of practice and, (3) most importantly, wasn't tap dancing to save his own hide. High stakes spinning is a job for pros.

... don't waste effort working angles or trying to figure best how to: ... relieve yourself of guilt or shame, unembarrass yourself, assign blame, explain your motivations to the world at large or put your life and your contribution circumstances in a good light.
Fact revision and happy faces on awful circumstances are near-certain exercises in futility.

By the time the press arrives on your doorstep, your personal Pandora's box will be standing wide open. The milk will be spilt, the horse will be out of the barn, humpty dumpty will have fallen apart, the bun will be secured in the oven, the cookie will have crumbled, the chickens will have flown the coop.

In short, the first wave of damage will have been done. Don't compound it. Buck up & Shut Up.

• Truth's tendency is to come out … don't mess with it.
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